johnboye

bits and bytes

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:21:56 GMT

so tonight i lost to my mate phil on pro-evolution soccer on the ps3. nothing strange there i hear you say.

except phil was 11 miles away.

it seems just like yesterday when your video recorder had a long thick wire connecting it to the remote control. i know my children do not remeber vinyl and the ampliphication of the friction picked up by the needle. or how 'mike tv' in the original willy wonka's chocolate factory was passed through space in tiny particles to ends up on a tv screen.

its all amazing stuff. each of those three examples still beyond the technological capabilities of anyone who is reading this blog.

yet now i do not need a physical friend (actually, as it happens, thats just as well) to play a game against; i dont need a standalone player for music and i do not need a video recorder because even if i am so 2005 and have a dvd recorder, these days the content providers allow pretty much on demand access via the web.

is this good? undoubely so. the advances in technology are mind numbingly briliant. so much so, i would feel confident in having open heat surgery with the surgeon in the uk and the procedure being filmed on a mobile phone and simply direced by him whilst im dying in the amazon. well, not quite. but i would be reassured if i was beaten up in camden and the parameic was simply a film crew with me getting checked over remotely by the doc in an online hospital somewhere.

what is slightl less reassuring is that none o the children that i know - not mine, those of my friends or even those of my enemie, will ever grow up to be scientists to maintain this fantastic technological advance. They'll end up as bankers, lawyers, teachers and accountants. ok, there may be th odd doctor in there but nothing else which you could describ as cutting edge.

so we rely on the technolgy, are amazed by it but yet we do not inspire our children to take it on to the next level. i genuinely dont have an answer.

is akin to u adult bits not being able to speak a foreignlanguage. whilstwe arrogantly said, 'why learn frnch when the world speaks english?' will our childen then e think 'why create i'm not japanese?'

dunno.

still, phil's damn good at that online soccer. unlike any real englishman that pulls on the 3 lions these days.

JB

the thin edge of the wedge

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 17:47:50 GMT

on november 30th 2007 a bank operating in the UK under UK law and regulated by the financial services authority will introduce a policy directly as a result of legislation in the united states.

of course they can. banks have terms and conditions and are shareholder owned. as long as their actions are not discriminatory they can do what they want.

but where does the line get drawn? what is discriminatory? and what these days are human rights?

i would like to think i have the right to spend my own money however i choose as long as it is deemed legal. so, for example, i can buy drugs in amsterdam but understand why i cannot in london. but i can chew gum in london but understand why i cannot in singapore. and i can name a teddy bear mohammed and draw a picture of him but now no that this would not be a wise course of action anywhere for fear of offending anyone.

i would also like to think i can register my uk bank card online with a gambling site and pay for their services this way. but if i bank with a 'global' bank and not a 'uk' bank seemingly i cannot.

so i cannot use my 'global' bank details to register with, say, 888.com but i can use it to buy a national lottery ticket. apparently. even though most employees will find their work computer's do not let you access the winning lottery numbers online because its a gambling site.

oh dear oh dear oh dear. now where is the consistency in this?

'global' banks are driving policy based on the US Patriots Act which deems online gambling illegal. 'global' banks will not act in the accordance of the free market in your jurisdiction but enforce US legislation on you.

is this a breach of a moderate UK gambler's human rights? is it discrimination?

i would love to see someone test it out in the european court.

and whilst i'm not a gambling man, i'd bet that person would win!

JB

calling in

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 16:37:58 GMT

i'm a banker. bankers collect in debts when due.

weirdness. you still owe me £60 from Oslo. Just so you know

(interest accrues at 16.9% apr, loans are repayable on demand etc etc etc)

and the band played on....

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 22:48:07 GMT

i was hopeful. the salesman seemed in good spirits, i expected the - oh i forget what i call people round here - Max to be supportive and the photocopying repair man to be enthusiastic. four against one would be fine...

in fact, the vocalist was in a compromising mood and it was the photocopying repair man whjo i thought was a bit grumpy but was later told that he was in fact nervous about playing. he shouldn't have been. best drummer i've heard for ages. not once did i think about keeping rhythm which means he was rock solid. still a bit miserable though.

so yeah it went well. we did three or four songs. we'll get an album by the time of the london olympics. if someone learns how to use a digital recorder! i hold my hand up here as well. we had three digital recorders with us, only one had learnt how to use his so when it all get wiped/non recorded then those of us who didn't think about backing up at the same time are equally as guilty.

so yeah. nothing worthwhile got recorded. but we did get some good stuff and i'm taking my digital recorder instruction to bed with me tonight.

so what else? the curry afterwards was awful - remind me never to order the korma again. yuk. still, they all had their partners there - the wag (wives and girlfriend) except the salesman cos Red takes the opportunity not to see him. Yummy looked really good 5 months on. Yoko wasn't being Yoko at all.

thank heaven for mobile phones is what is say.

salesman snored like a trooper.

getting old. had a nap around 7pm so not overly tired now. will be in the morning though. its work again. fuck.

oh yeah - hello weird steve!

JB

Modern music is Rubbish

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 09:16:33 GMT

Aged 15 we all vowed not to be as untrendy as our parents. "When I'm your age I'll still appreciate the music in the charts."

Well its official, I dont.

A couple of disclaimers first, it must be said. Firstly, the charts these days are meaningless. They by no means represent popular culture and are simply a means to sell 'z' list magazines and product placement.

Secondly, popular culture is meant to rebel against the older generation. When we are young we just underestimate human nature and how, no matter how trendy you think you remain, youth culture will develop in such a way that is alien to you.

Thirdly, unlike our parents who feigned disinterest in the music of our day I remain passionately interested in music and wholly believe the music I appreciate is better whilst stil being the music of today.

So back to the charts. And, unlike the top 40 on Radio 1, its all about the videos on MTV or something of that ilk. Where do I start? Relief that the reassuring names of Kylie and Take That were in the higher echelons? Certainly not. As with Westlife, the music they produce is dirge. Kyle was doing a 2nd rate Wendy James from 1989 (admittedly the best song in the charts) and Take That are promoting a musical. Westlife are making music for paedophiles and 'Valerie' is a cover of a 21st century song by the Zutons - whats the point in that?

And in the above paragraph - excluding the Tartan Army and an Elvis record - is the top 20 that is not r and b.

R&B. Now my understanding is that this stands for Rhythm & Blues. None of it! Its a beat with a whisper and a moan and a video that is soft porn. Quite possibly it is the most sexist, talentless, egotisitical and indulgent form of music ever created. Even the pop darlings of the '90s - Britney and Justin (or JT apparently as we now need to refer to him) - have been suckered into this meaningless genre. And if that was not enough, cute little Shane Ward who won X Factor a couple of years ago is now X-rated on the r&b video scene too. Thank heaven for Craig David singing David Bowie (um, not really.)

So, to disagree with The Who, the children of 2007 are not all right. reassured that I am that R&B is not representative of musical culture today (my kids hate it so thats proof enough), it is a worry that names such as fiddy sent and akon are becoming more and more household.

Or is this just the rambling of a pre-40 year old so not in touch with today?

There is a light. Last Saturday evening I met Henry. Henry is 18 and a Fresher at Oxford University. Henry is studying Maths. henry used to have a girlfriend called Kayleigh which got him into Marillion and now he lsitens to them, Pink Floyd and Genesis. Henry probably sits in his dorm with his guitar and computer and does not see daylight. Henry will probably emmerge from Uni with a degree, a job and the musical inspiration to be the next Radiohead.

Heres to the Henrys of our youth!

JB

addiction

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 12:22:49 GMT

i believe my new loop pedal has arrived today! this means my monthly spend on new musical instrument related purchases has crept to around £900.

anybody want to buy my left lung?

JB

death of a salesman (reprise)

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 13:15:07 GMT

I've used this chapter heading before, I'm sure, but I've been ill.

Thankfully my doctor has given me loads of drugs so I am ok.

I'm presently watching a huge fire over East London from my office window. Seemingly our Olympic plans are up in smoke. Literally.

On other issues, I've lied to a friend. I've told them I have no obsessions on a par with sunday morning cycling fetishes. Buts its looking like I do. I went to a guitar clinic on Saturday with the guitariost from That Band and was late for work today because I was still playing guityar at 2am through headphones. I've bought some new gear recently (bass and pedals) but have now fallen back in love with the electric guitar. I need more gear and I believe I have an addiction. I need direction and alternatives. Any academics willing to teach me the right way?

JB

Communism: where the owners of the means of production rule.

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 08:55:23 GMT

I'm beginning to think I've got some things the wrong way round. They say an Englishman's home is his castle but if this is the case then boy is trade good in my kingdom.

So we still dont have broadband. (Oh, by the way, the Lodger will feature heavilly in this.)

And on Saturday night we had guests: a sister of the Lodger and her boyfriend; on Sunday we had a guest - a different sister of the Lodger. On Monday we had a guest: the sister who stayed Saturday was back but with no boyfriend this time.

Tuesday we watched Lost.

And last night - and hereonin for the next few days I think - we have the boyfriend of the Lodger as a guest. Which is fine. As long as he does not use his time practicing to beat me on my pS3.

Still, I am still communicated with to have heating instructions passed on to me.

:)

JB

back to the grind

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 12:09:58 GMT

The Lodger has managed to disengage broadband at home so breaking for lunch on my first day back at work to post a half term update.

Yes, I actually got a bit of a break last week. So, what did I do ? Erm, study. Well that was Monday and Tuesday. I think I overdid it a bit as my brain still feels sore. But there is nothing more enjoyable than a bit of studying and stimulating debate with one's peers also intent on the same course. Highly wonderful.

Oh and then I spent a fortune ona n effects pedal and a bass guitar which I now need to learn to play.

Looks like the old band that is in the process of a part time merge with a competitior band and come up with a new band will include me as bass player. i wasn't happy about joining a guitar-heavy set up hence going out and buying the bass. Looks like this set up will be quarterly at best so ample time to try other things

I think there remains the option of the day band. The girly singer has an undoubted talent. There is also the 'ringer' guitarist who came in at the last minute and is absolutely brilliant. A very down to earth guy with no ego from whom I can work - only problem is I may be a bit talentless and basic to be anything other than tedious for him.

Oh well, we did the Groucho and I've yet to see the dvd. I'm assuming that when the girly singer woke me up at 4am on Sunday morning with a phone call I didn't take, she was watching the rough edit and rush producing it for a pre-christmas launch because its so good. The crowd were very unappreciative though.

Bugger, this is turning into an irony free blog. Better hang up...

JB

The Bash

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 10:28:28 GMT

I guess the right place to put this message would be on his blog and not mine but, hey, life is all about me really.

So the Vocalist has finished a proper album and has a launch party in central london tonight. I wish him luck, prosperity and success.

I genuinely cant make it. The Lodger went on holiday this morning and the flat is like a tip. I have to get it looking good before Monday. Also, I'm really really tired. Gym twice a day on the back of an onscene schedule in Norway really is making this cold i have even worse.

But have a good one Mr V.

JB

On a seperate note, I have a cold.

The Salesman

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:13:31 GMT

apparently The Salesman has a "Clare Baggins" in his phone memory.

twat.

JB

Down The Tubes

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 09:30:06 GMT

Northern Line is buggered today. That meant I got into work later than planned, into the gym later than planned and then at my desk later than planned.

Anyway, that wasn't the point of this brief post - just something to justify the title.

Seemingly I am broadbandless at home for the next fortnight, mainly a result of the career ambitions of the lodger. So nobody e mail me, I cant access it from work and, as I say, it'll be a fortnight.

Gosh people do seem to be crawling out of the woodwork. The Vocalist is putting a face in - afraid I cant make your launch on Thursday but I may pop by to hand over to Weirdness a jumper from a girl from a hotel that was left.

Anon seems to be back too. Hurrah!

Even The Salesman read extracts to Red yesterday evening. Lucky her eh?

JB

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 21:56:44 GMT

somebody recently admitted to posting anonymous texts to my blog. so, as you do, i've had to go right through this journal just to put into context of what i know about that individual in relation to those anonymous posts.

its been a varied conclusion i've come to but, in no particular order:

1) i think that person is wrong (it does happen.) i can see at least one comment by The Salesman masquerading as anonymous and so clearly i've got more than one anonymous poster.
2) some 'anonymous' posts are too crude to be the confessor.
3) there are a couple of people out there who really do not get the hang of it. yes, i know its a pain to have to register and get yourself a non-anonymous post facility, but if people put their bloody initials (SC, JR, CH...) then of course i am going to know who you are.
4) i'm intrigued who ravenviz is!

JB

my enhanced carbon footprint...

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 21:12:13 GMT

The growth of the Internet and living in the most networked City in the world has made it relatively easy for the likes of myself always to be on the periphery of fame.

And you can do one of two things: you can accept these people are simply human beings and, in the main, far less likeable than the (probably) more successful anonymous money makers or you can become a name dropping sycophant who believes the world in which such fame exists is something that has elevated you amongst your peers but frankly you have become intolerable.

I'm not saying I have not skirted with the latter but, in general, most people would accept I'm pretty firmly entrenched in the former.

Of course they say be careful what you wish for. Numerous examples exist where you meet your heroes and they disappoint. They always will, they are human. And I do have heroes.

So I've been into this band since 1982. Coincidentally thats about the time I met The Teacher at school and so yeah, like I say I have my heroes.

So I've mentioned That Band before but I've never really mentioned The Former Singer Of That Band (TFSOTB). Whilst I've always bought his records and been to his tours (bar the one recently) its fair to say that in recent years I've erred more on the side of That Band than TFSOTB.

But as I said to the Less Attractive Norwegian (LAN)this weekend, follwing a public reunion and a patchy record from That Band and a better record from TFSOTB it was probably time to redress the balance.

So this weekend was about hopefully redressing the balance. With The Salesman in tow, I arranged flights to a couple of shows in Norway. Weirdness announced he would join us after I'd booked. There was talk of this English Sounding American joining us. Lovely guy but, in the event, I'm probably more pleased he didn't come along.

So we eventually got to Bergen. LAN - who was meant to be promoting the show - really went down in my estimation. Not only had he failed to charge his phone (so we could not arrange to meet him), I also found out he only owned one car.

But we got to the venue about 5pm Friday. The credit application was a necessary pre-requisite for the purchase of alcohol. So, over ten easy installments through 2008, I will be able to cover the payment for my first round of drinks in Bergen.

So I've drunk with long standing friends before. I've had those weekends where everything is relaxed, ambient and funny. i must say though, the manner in which TFSOTB fitted into this long standing camaraderie was both touching and enhancing.

In fact, it was probably myself, The Salesman and Weirdness doing the fitting in but it all seemed to work out really naturally.

Demographics in Norway basically made it all a lot easier. We could simply talk about the population make up of their country, politics, football, how expensive it all was and occassionally music.

In a nutshell, everyone speaks English. The men are (mainly) either geeklike (LAN), vikings (like LANs more attractive friend) or - the majority - shortish, fat and bald.

The women however fall into one category: stunning. We basically came to the conclusion the Norwegian Government has a policy of sending all the ordinary looking women to a concentration camp. The ugly ones end up in Essex.

Even McDonalds have the most heavenly female staff. its true, we saw an ordinary looking girl and thought we should take a photo of this unexpected phenomenon in Oslo. Until somebody pointed out she was probably swedish.

The Salesman and I would move to Oslo tomorrow but his wife probably wouldn't let him. We think Weirdness may one day move out there. true, that will make England a safer place.

Anyway, you still get phones in Norway so until I ran out of credit I still managed to keep in touch with everything that was important back at home.

So it was an uplifting (and bankrupting) experience. TFSOTB is presently on the arc of a curve (copyright D.W.D. 2007) and the shows were enjoyable for such different reasons. Friday, because of the hick culture of Bergen and Saturday because, frankly, it rocked. Before, during and after the Saturday show I hooked up with new interests which have eventually prompted me to join this whole face book thing. Those same balding, middle aged non viking nords have seemingly taken my e mail address to discuss things over a cheaper beer next time they are to rape and pilage in London.

A Scottish Pipe Band had led the way from the bar to the venue - a good half mile meander through central Oslo on saturday evening. So much so I was confident in leaving my room mates behind at the after show and making my own way back to the hotel. it was laughable. It was 4.30am and there were thousands of sophisticated, drunk, oil hugging Nords walking the streets. It was autumnal; fresh and exhilirating. Yes, I was accosted by prostitutes before reaching the hotel but, hey, if the beer was £6 a pint... Nope, kept a wide berth there.

Eventually the aftershow descended on our hotel suite. A couple of joints, two half bottles of wine and 4 beers later (the entire alcoholic contents of the minibar and at an accrued cost of around £110)I think it was in excess of half a dozen people tried to get a couple of hours sleep in various places around our room.

Just for the record, I had come home alone relatively early and had been forced to be sociable when the masses descended.

I believe everybody else also survived the experience. We've done a rough reckoning on the cost of such priceless experiences and its not far off a grand each. Cheap at half the price.

JB

bank holiday weekend...

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:10:21 GMT

doesn't really feel like a bank holiday. have kind of had my foot off the pedal these last 3 weeks what with starting a new job. its not that i've been lazy moreso i haven't been authorised to actually do anything. eventually passwords and user accesses have dripped through but i've not had a lot to do.

anyway i'm off to write loads of solo music...

Sounds like an Ian Flemming Car Story.....

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:23:36 GMT

Lets not mince words, Americanism is something I find difficult to understand. I heard a fantastic joke today:

Four miles off the coast of Ireland US Warship US something or other received the following message "Mayday, mayday, the vessel at 140 degres northeast 26 degrees blah blah blah you are required to change your course urgently by 15 degrees to avoid collission."

Well the captain was having none of it, he got straight onto the intercom: "To whom am I speaking?I'll have you know we are in International waters, we are the boiggest ship in the world and part of the most powerful nation on earth. We will change our course for nobody. It is you who must change course to avoid this collission.

"Mayday, mayday US whatever its called, you mustr change course..."

"I repeat Sir we will not change course, it is you who must change course. America will not be cast aside. Who the hell do you think you are anyway ?

"Actually," came the smug reply, "I'm the lighthouse operator."

oh, by the way....I'm back!!!!!

You see, I'm now employed by an American Company. And they're strict fuckers. All my phone calls or monitored, need to be really careful about the e mails I send. Apparently I've also advocated to be committed to my local community. So, its a tad fascist compared to what the Banker-roos had in place. Firewalls actually exist in this organisation.

(so, just how many staff from that former institution can log on to this website)

So, I've got to post here to tell everyone whats really going on. Because if you speak to me at work or e mail you can damn well guess the last sentence will be, "so you sir/ maam make sure you have yourself a nice day do you hear?)

Now, one had to do a regulatory test today. Included was the quaestion, "What is an F.T.O?" Now, the correct answer would simply be foreign terrorist organisation. I suspect you would get brownie points for embelishing the response with, "Any anti-american person or institution who questions Uncle Sam's pre-requisite right to the oil in our liberated territories in the middle east" but I didn't go for the brownie points.

I suspect an answer such as "Bush's Republic UN defying/ Gore robbing by stealth chad" would fail. Hey ho, pass mark was only 75% so reckon I'll be all right on that one.

Other snippets since we last spoke?

Joined the gym

Stopped smoking (well, bloody well trying)

Sacked the vocalist.

JB

ps - no, I cant say that. I didn't sack the vocalist. What basically happened was that six weeks after our last gig, the Salesman seriously tried to make comunication with said charismatic frontman. It transpires that when he eventually got past the bouncers, PR men and A&R team, said vocalist has been working on his solo project (the one with his surrogate son) and signed a deal with a respected record label to make a record. seriously, the vocalist is apparently making an instrumental album. how ironic is that? so even though i did sack him i think he'd quit about a month earlier but just forgotten to tell anyone else.

so if anyone knows a singer who could be ready to perform for the pencilled in gig in three weeks at the dragonboat festival...

Its been a long time....

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 13:30:12 GMT

Initially I started this journal as an ironic statement against..journals. It was never intended to be a regularly updated analysis of my life and actions hence the 2 month absence. It tends to be a chain reaction. I post something, somebody replies and that starts off a thread of sorts. Then I get bored, go away. Then you all get bored asking why I have not updated my blog and we all then get on with real life.

Or something like that.

JB

.........and i feel fine

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 17:18:07 GMT

this is worrying. i've decided i dont like banks. i dont like the one i work for. i dont like the one i used to work for and now i dont think i like the one i considered thinking about working for in the future. maybe its time to admit,me and banks a no no.

banks, relationships? banks, relationships?, banks, relationships? yep, something doesn't fit there does it?

so, as said, this is worrying. i always imagined a mid life crisi to involve frustration and a desire to let your hair down and a feeling that life is slipping away. none of that, fell i've got plenty of time. and i'm quite satisfied with achievements to date thank you very much (admittedly, can only think of The Cherished and even thats probably down to their mother).

No, its just worrying there is this big hole called 'the future' and knowing i've got to fill it knowing i'm not actually any good at liking what i've supposedly got a track record of being good at? as said, dont like banks.

so watch this space. in fact, no. contribute to this space.

does anyone like what they do? if yes then would i like what you do? if yes then would me doing what you do compromise you doing what you do (i mean, there can only be one prime minister eh alistair?)? and if the answer is yes then tell me what you do. and maybe we can swap?

just a thought.

JB

classifications

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 08:11:47 GMT

please tell me that an age indication on a computer game denotes suitability and not achievability ?

one is presently struggling with 'lemmings' on PS3 which has a classification age of 3+....

oh dear.

JB

nothing to say

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 22:16:12 GMT

so its about a month since i've been here. in reality, nothing much to say really. It appears I have fallen out with Magentta which I have no idea about. The Teacher remains an inigma and The Institution remains corrupting.

In other news....there is not really any. And I am not the type to self-indulge in this forum.

Oh, the Loger is wearing scary turquoise pyjamas.

JB

ps - trousers only. I think the top is the SF300 one the 'other half' is unconvinced about.

hmmm

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 00:23:38 GMT

tonight....... oh well

Thieves Like Us

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 00:16:58 GMT

Dont even start me on the weather. Leaving my house this mid-Feruary morning, walm, pleasant and the kind of weather which will have polar bears drowning fom the north pole southwards...

Anyway. And I use the words carefully - some cunts had broken into my car. stole my stereo and created a right mess.

OK, this is London in the 21st century. You have to accept you will be a victim of crime at some stage. But I've deliberately lived in a boring, crime free area. So why me, my car and now?

The cost - around £300 when reckoned up - is irrelevant. It is more the fact that here can be burgled.

I'm depressed because of it.

And, oh, have been out with The salesamn and the kindred tonight. the unattainable was there earlier too. Very drunk. Mixed feelings about the unattainable. Whilst she will always remain that, will there be the desire to attain?

JB

PS I am a knob

Show Must Go On

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 01:56:55 GMT

A good night tonight. Well, it was Friday after all. Went to see a couple of bands in central london. Met loads of friends and heard some good music.

The bands were PRR and B. PRR are very good on record but I was a ta ddisappointed with the live sound. It all seemed a bit dated. Still, B were very melodic. SW is in PT and B and continues to be the least personable frontman in rock. Oh well.

The Vocalist, Yoko, The Salesman and Red were all there. Porcupinehead and His Bitch are staying here tonight and so I need to be on my best behaviour. Saw The Author who is aways a gent and met The Photographer who is a friend of The Vocalist and Yoko and seems to be a really really nice guy. Diminutive yet outspoken and creator of some genuinely iconic images over the years. Knows one of my clients too. Must mention the yellow car...

The Salesman gave us a lift home in Rerd's car - listened to 80's music inexplicably for far too long. Also got out the guitars for a bit of folk rock, we could have goe on all night but others had more sense.

So, The Salesman bequeathed me to Red when he dies. Apparently I will be good for his children. So tonight we made arrangements. 'Oi, I'm not dead yet' he claimed. We carried on anyway. Still though, if Red dies first, I'll just have to partner The Salesman in parenting his children. Just think, seven guitars between the two of us....

St Valentines Day Massacre

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 23:02:31 GMT

March 31st 1981. The day I bought my fist single. It cost £1.05 and was St valentine's day Massacre EP by MotorheadGirlschool. It had 3 tracks and they were all very good.

Pissed off with Livejornal today. They've changed all their headers to pathetic pink with hearts and arrows (at least no teddy bears.)

Who do they think they are? Google?

Death of a Salesman

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 22:59:55 GMT

I had a business meeting with a colleague and the Salesman yesterday. it was embarrassing. A grown man trying to out-sell the seller. The largest ego - and I'm not talking about me here - the world has ever seen, trying to impress and verbally undress (might use that bit in a song lyric sometime actually...)

Anyway, I started the meeting by comparing The Salesman to David Brent, you know - the guy from 'The Office'. Well, I was wrong. He is Finchey. If you haven't seen the series then you wont have a clue what I'm talking about. If you have and you dont know the Salesman then likewise. And there might be people who know the Salesman but dont know who I mean by 'The Salesman' rather than 'Mark Fucking Campbell' Anyway...

Right. Bloody Valentines Day eh? walked into work about lunchtime - was in meetings all morning, not a hangover thank you very much - and there were bloody flowers, balloons everywhere. Christ, its a BANK not a fucking dating agency or Clintons or whereever the hell you'd find such sentimental bollocks.

So come five o'clock they're all bloody out of the door. Got to be with the other half tonight and all that crap. Why? Even the Salesman side by side with Red. Its a cold miserable Tuesday in February.

Oh yeah, I forgot. It tends to be halfway between Christmas and Easter and about the time when people have given up being thrify after the new year resolutions. marketing bollocks the lot of it.

So I didn't send a card, didn't get a card, didn't want a card and dont care if people think I'm miserable.

And if anybody posts a cheery happy message to my blog I'll find you.....

(I do enjoy being miserable by the way)